I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
