Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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