I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?