Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I believe in your delicious
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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