I think i peed on brittanys purse
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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