ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
