the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
