Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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