will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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