I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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