just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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