If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Hippo gnu deer
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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