If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
