He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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