lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
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Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
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I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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