Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
