you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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