Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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