Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
