We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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