I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
