Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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