sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
