No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You are a genius and a whore.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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