names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
