i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
