do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
