Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
