I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
