I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
