so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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