i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
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I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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