i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
