I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
