I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
