OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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