Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
