grandma shit on top of the toilet
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
nutella sex= disaster
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
