but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
