the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize