It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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