Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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