I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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