on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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