i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
