is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize