$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
