I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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