Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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