i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
