You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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