I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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