I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize