Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
