i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize