The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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