Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
