he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
