one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
