You can't motorboat a personality
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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