Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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