Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
