This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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