just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
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Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
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I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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