wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
