i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
