Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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