ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
