Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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