Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My vagina just clenched in fear
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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