pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
