Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Green mimosas i think yes
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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