you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
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I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
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Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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