i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.